


Chasing Shadows

by hailynx



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-01 15:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailynx/pseuds/hailynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Park Chanyeol learns that the obstacle to wooing Kim Jongdae is not the ex but the man himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own EXO.  
> Please do not translate or repost/reupload.  
> This is the sequel to [Safelights in the Darkroom](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1037388).

Kyungsoo’s eyes smile in anticipation. He’s been waiting for this moment for a long time now and the smile on his face cannot be contained. Chanyeol’s grin though, is something on a whole different level. It’s been so long since Jongdae has parted his lips to sing; he doesn’t know what to expect but he’s definitely excited. The crowd that they have gathered are also waiting with some embarrassment but mainly a heart filled with anticipation.

 

Despite not singing for the longest time, Jongdae hasn’t lost his touch; his voice is still loud and angelically vibrant. It rings beautifully and echoes further than Chanyeol expects it to, so his eyes widen to mirror Kyungsoo’s while the crowd drops their mouths in gasps. Jongdae knows his strong points and has learnt how to effectively utilise them over the years. He graces the crowd with his heavenly voice and uses it to summon an army.

 

“CAN WE GET SOME SECURITY HERE PLEASE? BUSKING WITHOUT A LICENCE IS ILLEGAL.”

 

Kyungsoo suddenly scoffs out loud before laughter burns down to his stomach. His reaction a little delayed, but he thinks that that is something that he had expected. Jongdae is Jongdae and without any intentions of changing, he remains the snarky little shit he is. Kyungsoo realises a moment later, that this is the man that he knows, that _this_ Jongdae is the only one that deserves the title of his mentor.

 

The giant doubles over, off of the luggage and wobbly onto his feet. He carries the guitar in hand, completely embarrassed but before he can say a single word, he hears the thundering footsteps of Jongdae’s army and has no time to retort. Instead, he clicks his tongue in annoyance steals one last glance before making a run for it because he doesn’t really have a choice left. Smirking in triumph, Jongdae walks over, grabs his luggage which Chanyeol had been sitting on and pull it apart from Kyungsoo’s. Kindly, he rolls Kyungsoo’s luggage over and smiles a smile that Kyungsoo fears.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want dinner?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own EXO.

Chanyeol rarely lets his smile falter and that’s a fault on his part. Jongdae is the one that points it out because Yifan has a tendency to let things be. When Chanyeol goes to join the table, smiling for the whole hour, Jongdae scowls at him. He repeats his actions on their second encounter and earns some glares that prompt him to smile even wider and brighter at their third meeting.

 

Finally, the raven lets the words slip like water his through lips. Jongdae makes it very clear with his actions, his gestures and his words that he doesn’t like Chanyeol, his smile or his personality. There’s absolutely nothing real about it. Chanyeol’s smile falters for a brief second but he has trained himself to bring it back, though this time, his efforts are vain because he does not beat his record time.

 

“Sorr—” Yifan blanches and mutters half an apology which Jongdae mutes by throwing his elbow into Yifan’s rib and speaking in Yifan’s stead, “Jiaheng, you shouldn’t encourage fake happiness. The smile will lose meaning.”

 

Just as easily as Jongdae speaks his mind, Chanyeol is easily drawn in.

 

Yifan mumbles a small apology but doesn’t bother correcting Jongdae’s fixed way of addressing him. He picks up a piece of bread and tries to feed it to the smaller raven but stops half way because Jongdae glares. It as if Jongdae is trying to condition a response out of Yifan but then something happens and Chanyeol realises, that it’s not the case. This is already the norm.

 

Jongdae’s glare is pulled away by the little twitch at the corner of his lips. However, before he even cracks the tiny smile into the wide and beautiful one, Yifan drops the piece of bread back onto the plate and the sound of giggles comes like bubbles before it bursts with hints of rainbow against the light into some bigger. It radiates magnificently—like magic because Chanyeol does not have a clue as to how that is possible. Jongdae is the only person that Chanyeol has seen drawn out such a bright and uncontained laughter from his best friend and effortlessly at that—with a tiny, tiny smile.

 

When Chanyeol asks about it the use of ‘Jiaheng’ in private Yifan gives him a warm laugh. It is nothing like the previous but Chanyeol thinks that it’s better that way because it is what makes their relationship special and he has no intentions to taking that from them. He explains that the sudden name change after his parents’ divorce is something that Jongdae is taking his time to adapt to. His best friend tells him that it’s not insensitivity but just Jongdae’s way of making sure that Yifan doesn’t feel disconnected from _both_ of his parents because Jiaheng is a name that they both decided on together.

 

At that moment, Chanyeol realises, that he doesn’t stand a chance and the problem is not Yifan.

 

* * *

 

After much debate and arguing, Kyungsoo makes a successful comeback. He is dragged around and he drags Jongdae around just for the sake of it. They have been arguing, Chanyeol is sure of it, but somehow, they gravitate towards each other, possibly because Jongdae is the most attentive person that Kyungsoo knows, besides his parents—but they aren’t here. And Chanyeol is sure that Jongdae is staying around for the banter, despite the fact that Kyungsoo can say the most hurtful things possible.

 

Today, it is a little different as he sits with them in the car. Chanyeol is sitting in the front while Kyungsoo and Jongdae are draped over each other in the back. The singer is leaning on Jongdae, feeling impossibly tired. Kyungsoo’s limbs are numb, but his thoughts are tied together in one piece. He is relying on Jongdae today and Chanyeol also knows that _this_ is what Jongdae really stays for.

 

“Let me stay at your place, hyung.” Kyungsoo says.

 

He’s not in the mood to deal with sasaengs on his own. They are going out of the country together early tomorrow anyway, so he thinks that it’ll be easy to just stay together. It is not rare for Kyungsoo to stay at Jongdae’s place anyway. They are kind of like friends and that works out just fine. Chanyeol knows that no one steps into Jongdae’s apartment so whenever the raven accepts, he’s glad to know that Jongdae will not be alone.

 

Jongdae scoffs as he ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair, “If you cook.”

 

“Do you even have anything edible in your fridge?” Kyungsoo mumbles back.

 

Chanyeol hears Jongdae cursing Junmyeon under his breath and so he laughs a little to spread the energy that he still has. Kyungsoo should be tired, singing and moving locations all night. Chanyeol had tagged along to accompany him for the acoustics but he is not as tired as these two are. Jongdae had been his pillar and he supposes that takes a different kind of toll on the raven. Perhaps, it is something a little more, but they don’t talk about that issue.

 

“With your skills I’m sure you can make do with ramyeon,” Jongdae hums softly and Chanyeol knows that he has no intentions of making Kyungsoo work anymore tonight.

 

Kyungsoo raises a brow. Chanyeol catches it from the mirror and then the artist shakes his head tiredly against Jongdae’s shoulder. The rest of the ride occurs in silence. They drop by Kyungsoo’s apartment so that he can grab his things and as he fears, there are some fans lingering by. Jongdae is the one that gets out of the car and demands the keys. He tells Kyungsoo to stay and he returns swiftly, with the items needed in hand. He shuffles into the car quickly, shielding Kyungsoo from view and protecting him.

 

“They didn’t release your flight schedule did they?” Jongdae asks casually as he buckles the belt in. “Kyungsoo?”

 

Kyungsoo shakes his head and Jongdae nods in return, but they both know that the fans will somehow find out. Kyungsoo is on a small tour after all and the dates are set. They will not be surprised if the fans are lying in wait at the airport for him. They lean on each other once again and Chanyeol turns the music up a little to drown out thoughts and allow them to relax.

 

When they get to Jongdae’s apartment, Chanyeol makes an excuse to help with Kyungsoo’s things. He doesn’t really need to but ever since the trip to Canada, Kyungsoo hasn’t tried to stop him, almost as if he understands. When they get up the stairs and to Jongdae’s door, Chanyeol sets the bags down carefully and takes a step backwards. Jongdae’s home is his personal space and his haven—another instance where Chanyeol likes to give him full control of the power that he holds.

 

Jongdae yawns lazily as he fishes his pocket for the swiping key. When he finds it, he holds it between his fingers and lifts his hand to wave goodbye to Chanyeol. The giant finds words floating up his throat and they are very simple words but he is still scared to use them. They sit on his tongue, teasingly. His face contorts and it is probably easy to read because Jongdae gives him this look—eyebrows raised but not in a discouraging manner and he decides _fuck it._

 

“I’ll miss you,” Chanyeol announces.

 

Kyungsoo fakes a cough and swipes the keys from Jongdae’s hand and lets himself in first. Chanyeol panics a little when Jongdae turns because he can never be sure of what Jongdae will do next. He is thinking that the raven will follow in Kyungsoo’s steps and ignore him but all Jongdae does is slip off one of his shoes and sticks it between the door to make sure that the auto lock system doesn’t lock him out because Kyungsoo can be extremely devious when he wants to be.

 

“Okay,” Jongdae says nonchalantly, but his face tints with some pink.

 

Chanyeol hopes that he has sent Jongdae’s heart fluttering rather than to a stop. The latter, is too dangerous and seeing Jongdae move is a good indication. Chanyeol isn’t expecting much, because really, this much of a response is good enough. Chasing Jongdae is a difficult task, but the minute responses that he often gets are rewarding. He beams brightly and lifts his hand up to wave again. Jongdae returns the gesture and then turns around, kicking his shoes away.

 

“Goodnight,” Chanyeol sends his well wishes, “And sweet dreams.”

 

The raven pauses for a moment in his steps after some self debate and then finally turns. Now Chanyeol is really hoping that everything is still okay. He hopes that it is a fluttering heart response, because those are always better.

 

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae says softly, looking back and there’s a rare smile in his eyes. It’s always a start and Chanyeol’s lips curl pleasantly while Jongdae laughs a little before he enters his home. “Don’t camp out at the airport.”

 

* * *

 

This time, Chanyeol doesn’t try it at the airport. It’s partially because of what Jongdae had said, but he knows better now. He isn’t exactly traumatised but he’s sure that it won’t work out—and isn’t even sure why he had thought that it will in the first place. Besides that, Chanyeol’s classes have resumed. It is the final year of his course after much delay and the workload is heavy but he has managed to balance it out between work and assignments. Right now, he’s cursing his law books and Jongdae’s voice echoes.

 

_Family lawyer? That’s a good one._

 

Jongdae had laughed at him, a few years back out of bitterness and it had burned because there is nothing more fitting. The words still linger every now and then but Chanyeol doesn’t see the mean glint in Jongdae’s eyes anymore. The raven is definitely over it and he hasn’t said a word about it since. He still pursues the dream though because he knows that he has nothing to make of music, so his study is a priority. Chanyeol sets out to finish his course with a new goal, though he knows that it will not always be possible to make a difference.

 

Exhaling loudly, Chanyeol drops the book down and makes his way towards the mirror. He really should drop last minute preps, he decides as he fixes the tie under his collar and calms himself. He’s got an interview to win over for the placement and now is not the time to be thinking of anything else. After he gets there, he can start planning for the future. Chanyeol exhales and watches his appearance carefully in the mirror. He hopes that he looks friendly enough but the phone that ring sends his face scowling. Sighing as he practices the smile, he reaches over for it and his folder.

 

“Hello?” Chanyeol says casually as he clips the folder under his arms and searches for his travel pass. “Yifan? What’s up?”

 

They exchange simple greetings over the phone as Chanyeol walks towards the bus stop. He has planned it out so he is there just on time. The bus comes to a screeching halt and the driver waves him on quickly. He swipes the travel pass on the machine quickly and finds a seat near the back.

 

Luckily for Chanyeol, his best friend isn’t calling about issues today. It’s simply a catch up conversation in which, Yifan asks in a roundabout way about Jongdae’s health since the wedding. Chanyeol offers what he can and doesn’t even have it in him to be mad. Yifan’s never stopped worrying and that’s something that he cannot help, so Chanyeol cannot attribute blame.

 

“He’s fine, I think?” Chanyeol tilts his head and then chuckles. “He’s not home at the moment so I can’t tell you.”

 

Chanyeol pauses along with Yifan and then realises what he has said but doesn’t bother to correct himself. Korea is home to the both of them now so it doesn’t matter much if Yifan is misunderstanding his words. It’ll probably help with the situation on the other side of the world anyway. Yifan hums through the phone and Chanyeol changes the topic. It is a sign, as Chanyeol has learnt over the years, that Yixing is passing by.

 

They speak for a little longer before Chanyeol apologises and has to go. Yifan wishes him the best of luck with his interview and Chanyeol smiles brightly as he hangs up. That gives him a little confidence boost, but what makes all the difference, is the little text message that he gets wishing him ‘good luck’ from Jongdae despite the time difference between them.

 

Chanyeol finds himself on top of the world as he aces the interview.

 

* * *

 

He stumbles upon a sleepy Jongdae at one of the street food stands scattered on the street and joins him to surprise. It’s a bad idea, Chanyeol realises when he gets out unscathed. The raven almost pours all of his soup down Chanyeol’s shirt when he jerks his hand away from shock.

 

“Sorry,” Chanyeol mumbles.

 

Jongdae shoots a pointed glare and then shoves a piece of spicy rice cake into his mouth. He puts the cup down and shuffles aside to make room. It is nothing special, just an automatic reaction but Chanyeol slips into it with a smile anyway. He speaks to the kind lady and picks up a fish stick and joins Jongdae to share a meal.

 

“What are you doing here by yourself?”

 

Kyungsoo’s concert had been a success Chanyeol has heard from articles and the people around the company. Jongdae hasn’t said much since they’ve been back, but he rarely says anything until asked so Chanyeol doesn’t take it to heart. Instead, he takes it slow and uses the information he gathers to start a conversation when they have nothing to say.

 

“Putting on weight,” Jongdae smiles, a little dimly.

 

He looks tired and sounds even more exhausted, so Chanyeol doesn’t press conversation. Instead, he just draws closer to huddle up for warmth because when Seoul is cold, it is cold, just like it wants to be when it is hot. The steam coming from the soup pot warms them up and they end up having a good meal. Jongdae doesn’t say it anymore after the first time, but Chanyeol knows that he is grateful for the company.

 

In Korea, Jongdae has it hard and is mostly alone. He doesn’t show the loneliness though, indulging himself in the presence of colleagues when he can and hiding away when he can’t. However, hiding is a difficult feat when Jongdae is hungry and his pantry is empty, with the exception of ramyeon, which he is probably sick of. Jongdae is a terrible cook and would rather feed on street food or small restaurants then put an effort into finding simple recipes online. That is a disaster in itself.

 

Chanyeol jokes to lighten the mood, “Did you burn the pot again?”

 

Jongdae raises a brow, as if offended in response, but picks up some spicy rice cakes and offers it over, leaving Chanyeol stunned. He stares at the skewer for a moment but as soon as he leans in, Jongdae shoves the rice cake into his mouth and hums pleasantly before breaking into a fit of giggles. Chanyeol throws the dirtiest glare he can muster but Jongdae just cackles to himself as he stuffs his mouth with food.

 

Scowling, Chanyeol knocks into the raven but to no avail. Jongdae gives no real reaction to the semi violent gesture. Instead, Jongdae mumbles a soft apology and offers real food this time. Chanyeol is careful this time and Jongdae just waits patiently before he lowers his hand now that he is not holding onto food anymore. Chanyeol is about to part his lips to question when the raven pauses, brows furrowing together. Jongdae is silent for a moment before he puts the phone to his ear. The moment doesn’t last though, Jongdae paling at whatever is being said and shuffling to move quickly. He reaches into his pocket, takes some notes out and passes it over to the owner of the stand.

 

“Jongdae...?”

 

For someone who gets no exercise and is as terrible at dance as he is, Jongdae runs surprisingly fast and easily. Chanyeol follows closely with worry. They get to Jongdae’s apartment relatively quickly because it is nearby. Instead of waiting for the lift, Jongdae takes two flights of stairs to the lowest floor and rushes around the corner with ease.

 

When they come closer to the door that reads 104, there is a crouching figure in front of his door. Tousled dark hair and a dishevelled image has Chanyeol concerned—possibly the same concern that Jongdae feels—but when the young man stands up to meet Chanyeol’s height, he steps back a bit, feeling overwhelmed. Jongdae doesn’t seem in the fazed in the least.

 

The man unfolds his limbs and straightens out his posture. He doesn’t look so panicked and Chanyeol wonders about the fuss. Jongdae seems to be going down the same path because he heaves a heavy sigh and shoots a deadly glare. He takes a few deep breathes to even out his breathing and then lifts his head to make his gaze sharper and more intimidating.

 

“So,” Jongdae folds his arms and frowns. “Care to explain what happened, Huang Zitao?”

 

The thin young male’s eyes sharpen for a moment and Chanyeol swears he feels a warning for death but Jongdae stands in front of him, unmoving. Jongdae proves to be a relatively good shield so he doesn’t feel more worried than he should be. Besides, an angry Jongdae is probably scarier than anything else. From what Chanyeol had gathered from the short conversation, this Zitao character had made everything sound like a life and death situation. Jongdae is probably still a little bit hungry and an empty stomach never settles his mood.

 

“Uh, well,” Zitao slurs his words and the accent comes through, “The electricity went out.”

 

Jongdae heaves another very heavy sigh and staggers back into Chanyeol, rubbing his forehead free of the pain that is building. Chanyeol catches him warily, an arm wrapping around Jongdae’s waist automatically. When he realises that Jongdae doesn’t care, he flinches out of self awareness. It’s probably a good sign that Jongdae doesn’t recoil from his touch, but at the same time he doesn’t know what to make of it, exactly because it is _Kim Jongdae_.

 

“And you’re worried about ghosts?” Jongdae shakes his head. “Did you check the circuit? Something might have happened.”

 

Jongdae pulls away and Chanyeol caves his warmth. The raven is thinking of going to check the switch but Zitao latches onto him and shakes his head with an apologetic smile. It sends them to a standstill as Jongdae tilts his head slightly in confusion. It takes a while but they both wait for Jongdae to catch up.

 

“You spent all of your money on Gucci products again didn’t you?” Jongdae accuses with a firm and disapproving tone.

 

Zitao’s breath hitches in his throat and his expression falls so fast, Chanyeol staggers backwards in shock from the contrasting image. However, despite his reprimand and cold tone, Jongdae reaches into his pocket and swipes the card for the apartment and lets Zitao inside. When Chanyeol catches Zitao tearing up, he chuckles with a light heart. Zitao rushes into his apartment, grabs all the Gucci items that Jongdae had mentioned and sneaks them into Jongdae’s apartment for safety. Chanyeol cannot comprehend how Zitao has managed to add so much to his collection, even if it means leaving the bills unpaid. Jongdae turns to him with a scowl on his face and knocks his head into Chanyeol’s chest, like a punching bag, repeatedly with perfect rhythm in frustration.

 

“Urgh,” Jongdae whines. “I’ve got a headache.”

 

Chanyeol pats Jongdae’s back soothingly with a warm smile. “It’ll be alright.”

 

* * *

 

Sometimes, they work too hard and sometimes, Chanyeol works a little harder than that so that he will have a shoulder to lean on. Jongdae is the one who gives him leverage for it, because despite some of the things that he says and doesn’t mean, Jongdae has a soft spot for those that are younger than him. He does it consciously, to deflect the neglect that Jongin has often given him. Chanyeol wants to help, but at the same time, he purposely takes advantage of this.

 

Sometimes, they spend their time in the little practice room, huddled up on the couch. It is time that Chanyeol appreciates because Jongdae doesn’t try to push him away and he doesn’t distance himself. Jongdae will scribble away quietly and Chanyeol will be able to join him for the warmth. Sometimes, Jongdae will let him see the notes and he will play along with the guitar. It is progress little by little, but Chanyeol knows that it’s better than nothing. Jongdae doesn’t close off on him and that’s a good start, because once he does, it’s really over.

 

Jongdae currently has his knees pulled up close to his chess and the musical sheet on top of his knees. He is scribbling messily and humming as Chanyeol pulls on the strings as practice. Jongdae is the type of person that can sit still and concentrate on one task for the longest time, but Chanyeol isn’t. He’s messy and he needs to change his activity periodically. So somewhere along Jongdae’s light humming and pen scratching paper, Chanyeol has picked up a book and put down his guitar.

 

“Don’t fall asleep before me,” Chanyeol asks although he knows that there are dire consequences of such a request.

 

“Okay.”

 

Jongdae always promises Chanyeol this. It benefits him just as well and it seems to be the only thing he is capable of giving and is sure that he won’t need to retrieve it. They don’t talk about it, but Chanyeol does not like to see Jongdae sleep and Jongdae, doesn’t like to reveal that vulnerable side of himself to those that he doesn’t trust. Chanyeol fluctuates on the scale, so Jongdae promises. The raven works by himself until Chanyeol is half way through his chapter and the book drops away as sleep comes to claim him.

 

Jongdae heaves a sigh after that and shuffles a little. As if following routine, Chanyeol’s sleeping body tilts and he ends up leaning most of his weight onto the raven. Jongdae reaches up to his neck, rubs it again and then continues on with his composition. He twirls the pen in his hands and scratches the paper for a while longer before the itch of mischievousness catches him.

 

Giggling to himself, Jongdae gives in and then shuffles the music sheets aside. He waves his hand in front of Chanyeol’s face and pinches him lightly to check for deep sleep and then makes himself comfortable. Leaning back onto Chanyeol, Jongdae continues to hum softly to a melody that he knows until sleep comes to take him as well.

 

When Chanyeol wakes in the morning, Jongdae is already up and laughter is bellowing in the empty room. Chanyeol grimaces but forces a greeting out of his lips. Whenever they wake in the morning, Jongdae will be the cheeriest and Chanyeol doesn’t even have to look to know that the reason behind Jongdae’s immense cheer are the cat whiskers drawn messily on his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

When Jongdae returns home, he finds that Zitao’s shoes are still at the entrance. It is easy to guess that the electricity isn’t back yet. Zitao is already fast asleep, wrapped up in layers and layers of sheets to protect him from whatever monster he deemed was coming that night. Jongdae tosses his shoes off and gets ready for bed when his phone rings blaringly. The moment he picks it up, he hears Luhan’s high pitched squeal coming through and has to back track out of the room so that he doesn’t wake his roommate.

 

“Luhan hyung?” Jongdae tries sleepily, “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

 

“Noon!” Luhan cheers loudly and then laughs.

 

“Oh my god,” Jongdae suddenly has fear coiling in the pit of his stomach. “Did you knock Minseok hyung up? Is that why you’re calling at such an hour? I can’t really help with that you know?”

 

Jongdae hopes that his accusation will have Luhan hang up, but instead, the volume increases. Minseok splutters in the background and Luhan squeaks, stopping Jongdae from counting his tangent. Jongdae stifles a snicker with his fist to wait for the violence on the other side of the line to calm down. He can imagine Luhan’s fists flying in the air until they meet Minseok’s shoulders or something of the like in his flustered state.

 

“Oh,” Jongdae allows himself to laugh a little, “I take it that you’re adopting then.”

 

“Anyway,” Luhan clears his throat and speaks loudly. He hides the secret that he has yet to announce to everyone else—how Jongdae manages to make correct random guesses is still beyond him. “I’m very upset at you!”

 

Jongdae makes his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. There, he clamps the phone between his cheek and his shoulder and starts working. He pours some water for himself and then takes it to the living room where he slumps lazily into the couch and turns on the television for some minor entertainment. Luhan is still shooting his mouth off and it is a rather lovely distraction.

 

“You don’t _sound_ upset.”

 

“Well,” the author huffs, “I’m excited _and_ upset.”

 

Jongdae decides that Luhan is suddenly too loud and turns the phone onto loud speaker as he slides it across the table. He hugs the mug of water close and sips at it with sleepy eyes. There is nothing entertaining on the television but Jongdae leaves the screen to flicker through the colours of the rainbow as Luhan goes on and on. He isn’t really paying attention until he selectively catches the word ‘album’. His ears perk, jerking him to an upright position and something akin to panic rushes through him.

 

“W-what?” He stammers. “What album?”

 

“Well,” Luhan slows a bit. “Not yours. But that’s beside the point! If it weren’t for Junmyeon, we wouldn’t have had any idea! How could you keep it a secret, Jongdae?”

 

“I’m not,” replies the raven, “How does—”

 

Luhan scoffs and music begins to play before a soft and gentle voice joins the harmony. Kyungsoo’s voice is as always, soothing to Jongdae’s ears. He thinks Luhan will scold him some more but Luhan is humming and it is Minseok that takes over for a short while and Jongdae is glad, because Minseok is a sweetheart and always much more soft spoken.

 

“He’s been following your career Jongdae and he’s proud of you.” Minseok chuckles warmly. “Not a surprise seeing as this is Junmyeon we’re talking about. He ordered a copy for everyone he knew.”

 

“Oh god,” Jongdae’s nose scrunches and shakes the images away. “Is he in love with Kyungsoo?”

 

Minseok groans over the line and Jongdae can tell that the elder wants to throttle him for the question. However, they explain it to him slowly, making sure that they drill the information in. Jongdae promises that he will call Junmyeon at a more appropriate hour so that his older brother would stop calling and moping all over Minseok’s free time. Jongdae figures that it is only natural that Luhan and Minseok call to whine—they have no other uses really, even as friends, especially since they are so far away.

 

“Don’t nag,” Jongdae replies rubbing his temple, “If you haven’t forgotten, I took composition back in university.”

 

Luhan’s tone lightens and it is easy to tell that the memory is coming back. He is cheery once again and goes on and on about the piece. Jongdae listens in delight now that the phone is away from his ear directly. Praise is good. It makes him confident and it makes him want to try harder. Luhan is sincere as Minseok is, anyway, so it doesn’t hurt to listen to them. It balances everything out for when Jongdae has to go to the company and listen to critiques.

 

Jongdae hums pleasantly, sipping on his water and nodding off slightly. A little later, after Luhan is done rambling and Minseok puts in few words to give Jongdae a variety of tone, Zitao stumbles out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes lazily. When he catches light, he glances down at Jongdae and tilts his head gently in a questioning manner.

 

“What are you still doing up, ge?”

 

Jongdae shakes his head and returns the question, completely ignoring the conversation on the phone. Zitao’s eye bags seem darker now as he rubs them and it breaks Jongdae’s heart a little. The younger man works hard and if it weren’t for the unbreakable habit, he’d probably have it easier. Sometimes, he sees himself in Zitao and perhaps that is a large reason why he cannot deny Zitao help when asked.

 

“Why are you up?”

 

“Water,” Zitao mumbles and takes a step towards the kitchen.

 

Jongdae nods and his eyes flicker across the coffee table. He is quick to notice that there’s a spare mug next to his phone. He bits his lips together, with a whole bunch of curses running through his mind. Old habits really do die hard. But he doesn’t dwell on it. Instead, he acts quickly, picks up the mug and gestures it to Zitao.

 

“Here,” Jongdae says. “Just take it with you.”

 

Zitao takes the mug gratefully but then pauses as he twirls it in his hands. His brows raise and then knit together questioningly. Jongdae returns the look, still ignoring Luhan in the background, because he can’t do anything for Luhan’s discomfort over the phone but he can, work something out for Zitao who is still near.

 

“Really ge?” Zitao questions and then reads off the mug. “It’s only funny until someone gets hurt. Then, it’s hilarious.”

 

Jongdae snorts—at least Zitao is improving. “Shut up and be grateful.”

 

They exchange their conversation oddly and even Luhan has paused to listen. Zitao speaks in Mandarin and Jongdae has enough understanding but is no longer fluent enough to reply so he speaks Korean instead. It is interesting but most of all comforting for both Minseok and Luhan to hear, because it’s rare that Jongdae sounds comfortable with others. When Zitao finally returns to the room, Jongdae turns his attention back to the phone.

 

It is oddly quietly, “Are you still there?”

 

“Yeah,” Luhan says, without bite and Minseok pipes up in his stead. “He’s a little stunned.”

 

“The mug was a gift from Chanyeol, okay?”

 

Jongdae laughs and speaks affectionately, so much so that Luhan feels his chest constrict with hope. He wants so badly for Jongdae to be happy as well. So he doesn’t ask about the boy that he’s just heard in Jongdae’s home in the middle of the night and he doesn’t question the tinge of affection in Jongdae’s tone. The raven photographer is probably struggling with that himself. Luhan’s questions will probably cause him to doubt so he pushes those thoughts away.

 

“Got it,” Luhan says quietly instead, “Sorry to call so late. I just wanted to tell you that the track is amazing.”

 

A smile plays on Jongdae’s lips. There is more affection in his voice but it different from the one that he reserves for Chanyeol. “Kyungsoo is good at what he does.”

 

Although Luhan wants to kick the younger for his dismissive behaviour, he is unable to. Luhan probably will not anyway, because he feels relief wash over him. There is still hope for Jongdae.

 

* * *

 

Jongdae is rushing to go on home when he stumbles across one of the last people he’d like to see. He blinks rapidly, hoping the mirage will go away but instead, the figure comes closer and latches onto him as if he were a life buoy. Jongdae is thrown off balance and he lands painfully on his butt with Baekhyun still latching to him. Jongdae can hardly move but he supposes that he doesn’t want to drag Baekhyun’s weight with him. That will require more effort than he is willing to put in for someone that he is not close to.

 

“Jongdae!” Baekhyun’s voice screeches. “Save me!”

 

“W-what’s going on?” Jongdae panics and looks from Baekhyun to his co-worker.

 

“I keep—I’m trying to refuse this recruitment thing.” Baekhyun explains. “But they’re not listening to me!”

 

Jongdae huffs a little but finally nods in understanding. By the time he is on his feet again, he has explained everything and earned a few upset frowns but Baekhyun will not let him go otherwise. They end up exiting together, Baekhyun staying extremely close and Jongdae sighing, because really, they’re not even friends and Jongdae would very much like to keep it that way.

 

“I think you’ll be...” Jongdae pauses. “Where are you even here?”

 

Baekhyun looks offended and Jongdae doesn’t even justify it with an explanation. His thoughts process is on Baekhyun’s work but he doesn’t say it. They can have misunderstandings and it wouldn’t matter because they both have no real intention of getting along. Getting along will be easy and probably favourable for their personalities mesh well, but they don’t because the difficulties will come easily after they establish friendship.

 

“Vacation,” Baekhyun scratches his cheeks warily. “You know...”

 

“Ah...” Jongdae hums and nods in acknowledgement. Baekhyun’s stomach suddenly growls causing Jongdae to chuckle, “How about dinner?”

 

Baekhyun nods with a warm smile and it feels like they’re friends. For a little while, they can pretend, he thinks as he follows. They end up in a small tent, hunched together for warmth. They act as temporary friends, Jongdae indulging the makeup artist in talks about Korea and how different it is from his expectations. Things go relatively well, until they take up drinking and in excess.

 

 “We should be friends,” Baekhyun slurs.

 

Jongdae snorts. “I thought we’d agree on refraining from making offers that we cannot afford to keep.”

 

Baekhyun pauses a moment and watches carefully as Jongdae sculls down another shot of cheap soju. Slowly, he nods in reply, in compliance and agreement because Jongdae is right. They have other relations to maintain and not having each other’s companionship at all is probably better than losing it eventually. Awkward silence passes through them for the longest time, before they are finished with the bottle and Jongdae orders another.

 

They drink silently, taking turns to pour the shots and mellowing their stomach out with the food. When he is way passed buzzed, Baekhyun opens his mouth again and all of his feelings come out alongside his lack of control. Besides, he wants Jongdae to know what a terrible person he is. Baekhyun has not been able to take the raven’s words out of mind. They linger because he cannot figure out what Jongdae means.

 

“Why did you thank me?” Baekhyun questions slowly to make sure the syllables meet.

 

Jongdae seems to sober at the question as he pulls his stance upright. “Why did you?”

 

Baekhyun falters for a moment and then breaks into a fit of giggles and snickers. He picks up the new bottle and pours another shot. They drink to a toast, not of friendship because they can’t offer each other that but for their naivety. They just drink together because they can and perhaps, because they understand that it is hard to share with those that are outside of the loop. Jongdae though, stops mid-way through the night, keeping himself as sober as possible because it is clear that Baekhyun needs a guardian.

 

The makeup artist pours his heart out in the little tent and earns a million looks of judgement but it doesn’t stop him. The people that are listening now are not important. They are just like footprints in the snow; they will fade out of Baekhyun’s life eventually. Neither does it stop Jongdae from listening, nodding and pouring drinks. However, he does keep a close eye to make sure that Baekhyun is still safe. In the end, Jongdae feels a little like Junmyeon and he finds a smile tugging on the corner of his lips. He wishes for a moment, that Jongin will allow him to look after him like this one day.

 

“Kim Jongdae!” Baekhyun roars suddenly, slamming his cup onto the table. “You... you! You shouldn’t—”

 

Jongdae raises a brow at Baekhyun and sculls down another shot with an amused smile. He waits for the makeup artist to say it, but he ends up slumping back down on the table and slurring his words instead. Baekhyun’s whines changes from high pitched to low grunts as he shuffles from one corner of the table to the other. He is still accusing Jongdae but just using his name and saying things that don’t make any sense at all.

 

Jongdae is glad that Baekhyun slurs and is too drunk to speak coherently anymore. In all honesty, he doesn’t want to be reminded of that day. Jongdae doesn’t believe, even till this day, that anyone should lower themselves so much, but Baekhyun had done it. It is admirable but he does not want to bring the thought to memory. Baekhyun does not deserve the status that he had lowered himself too and Jongdae wants to erase it for his sake—so that he can forget his own dismissive behaviour.

 

When Baekhyun finally gets too noisy, they receive enough glares to set Jongdae to his feet. He laughs as he sets down the bill for their meal and drinks. He drags Baekhyun’s arm over his shoulders and begins to walk slowly towards the hotel that Baekhyun had mentioned staying in. Jongdae gathers a few odd stares on his way but he brushes it all off and charges on into the hotel.

 

The raven is looking around the lobby to see the way that people move. He doesn’t want to go to the desk and then walk right around again because Baekhyun is growing heavier and heavier on his shoulder. He is very tempted to drop the makeup artist but a voice calls his name and for once, Jongdae feels like Chanyeol’s loudness can be a saving factor.

 

Jongdae turns in the direction of the voice and raises a brow once he spots Chanyeol, decked out in a full suit. He looks odd and it is probably the first time he is paying enough attention to notice how Chanyeol just fills out his clothing. A folder is clamped under his arm and he rushes to help with the weight of Baekhyun. Jongdae is thankful, his shoulder relaxing as the weight shifts and he gives Chanyeol a half smile.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Chanyeol shakes his head, “This is... Byun Baekhyun? Why are you...?”

 

“We bumped into each other at the company,” Jongdae shakes his head. “He’s not having the best time.”

 

Chanyeol doesn’t ask anymore about details and just about the room that Baekhyun is staying in. Jongdae takes a chance to fish for the swiping key in Baekhyun’s pocket and finds the floor and door number that they need. They drag Baekhyun towards the elevator and put up with his incessant whining and nagging silently.

 

Jongdae kicks off his shoes at the entrance and they toss Baekhyun onto the bed together. Then, Jongdae makes an effort to climb onto the bed to pull the covers aside and tucks Baekhyun in carefully. Chanyeol watches all of Jongdae’s actions without words, basking in the rare moments of kindness that Jongdae displays these days. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips when Jongdae hops off the bed and searches his pocket for hangover pills and leaves them on the nightstand.

 

Baekhyun’s mouth shoots off with a bunch of curses that has Jongdae grinning for a brief moment. It doesn’t last long because Baekhyun is including Jongdae’s name in his curses and that has the raven grimacing with a dangerous glint in his eyes. Chanyeol charges instantly and runs towards Jongdae, putting him into a warm embrace and dragging him away. Chanyeol is completely taking advantage of the situation but Jongdae doesn’t even care so it doesn’t matter in the least.

 

“What?” Jongdae snaps. “The little shit!”

 

“You were totally going to smother him!” Chanyeol exclaims, “C’mon, let’s go.”

 

Chanyeol completely ignores the fact that Jongdae doesn’t even try to refute the accusation and tries to lift the drunken Jongdae onto his back. Once there though, Jongdae slurs a bit and whines to Chanyeol about the fact they need to remove Baekhyun’s makeup. He raises his brows in retaliation but Jongdae pulls at his ears till it hurts and he is forced to drop Jongdae onto the couch.

 

“Okay, okay,” Chanyeol whines. “Water will do right? I’m not going through his luggage to find...”

 

“It’s open,” Jongdae says and cocks his head in the direction of the luggage. “I think I saw his makeup set before.”

 

Chanyeol shoots a glare and walks over to steal a glance. He doesn’t see anything personal and manages to find the items that Jongdae is directing him towards. By the time he has gathered everything he needs to help, Jongdae is nodding off quietly. Scowling without a sound, Chanyeol proceeds to remove the makeup as he had learnt from being in the industry.

 

He slaps the cotton pads on Baekhyun’s eyes and leaves it there for the remover to start its magic as he wipes down the rest of Baekhyun’s face. Once he’s done, he grabs a towel, soaks it and wipes Baekhyun’s face again just to make sure he captures the rest of the residue. Chanyeol turns his gaze away for a moment and then back when he hears Baekhyun murmuring. The syllable that he echoes shocks Chanyeol into freezing before he notices the tears steaming.

 

“Ah,” Chanyeol hums sadly, wiping the tears away and turning to Jongdae. “Of course that’s why.”

 

Jongdae isn’t a saint but he still has some of his sense of sympathy. Heaving a sigh, Chanyeol hangs the towel up to dry in the bathroom and studies his surroundings. Spotting Baekhyun’s tears again, he wipes it away with a tissue and then turns to find Jongdae in a light sleep. He wonders briefly about the best course of action but decides against leaving Jongdae here because Baekhyun would probably wake to a shock and so would Jongdae. They cannot stay though, because that is more invasive than he likes to be.

 

In the end, Chanyeol puffs up his cheeks and exhales deeply to calm himself. He pulls Jongdae over his back carefully and heads down to the front desk to leave a note. Once certain that Baekhyun will be looked after without them, he takes Jongdae home.

 

* * *

 

Home turns out to be Chanyeol’s place because Jongdae finally crashes when they leave the hotel. As usual, Chanyeol doesn’t have the heart to invade Jongdae’s personal space and even with the keys in hands, he decides against it and drags Jongdae back to his apartment instead. As soon as they stumble inside, Jongdae is stirring again so Chanyeol lets go and allows Jongdae to go around on his own. That is another form of power and Chanyeol doesn’t mind it anyway; he has nothing to hide.

 

Jongdae prances around the living room and slumps down on the couch, curling up after turning on the television. He likes noise, but not always. Sometimes, Chanyeol is insufferable, but in moments where he feels vulnerable, noise always helps, so the television is turned on and the volume up. Chanyeol allows Jongdae to sit for a while as he goes to change. When he comes back out, Jongdae is dancing _terribly_ to one of Kyungsoo’s songs. The image totally butchers the music so Chanyeol turns off the television.

 

“Exactly how much did you drink?” Chanyeol complains as he drags Jongdae towards the mattress in his room.

 

“Um,” Jongdae slaps him accidentally, “Baekhyun and I... uh, shared seven or eight bottles?”

 

Chanyeol raises a brow but doesn’t call Jongdae out on the lie. Baekhyun definitely had more with the way that he is passed out but Jongdae definitely didn’t share any with the way that he is starting to slur and thrash restlessly. He hopes that the raven will not break down and cry but decides against staying to watch. He doesn’t have that much strength in his heart, despite his amount of cheer.

 

“Anyway,” Chanyeol says slowly and repeats to make sure that his message gets through to the drunken raven. “Sleep here okay? I’ll be outside if you need anything.”

 

Jongdae parts sleepy eyelids and stares directly at Chanyeol without heat, but it is a firm gaze. He shuffles across the bed to make space and then pats the empty space gently to invite Chanyeol to join him. Jongdae knows that he will not be able to sleep on the floor or the couch because Chanyeol will nag, but he has no intentions of stealing Chanyeol’s bed from him.

 

“What are you afraid of?”

 

Chanyeol’s mouth falls open momentarily but he forces them to close as he stares down at the sleepy raven. He doesn’t know if he has an answer, even though he feels edgy and uncomfortable. Instead, he worries a little more about what Jongdae is afraid of and it renders him immobile. When he sees the raven like this, open and looking like he wants to pass out an opportunity, Chanyeol wants to take a step back. He isn’t certain that he can offer the things that Jongdae needs.

 

He is saved by the ringing of his phone. The sound is probably louder because of Jongdae’s heightened senses, so he winces away and curls into the blanket. Jongdae’s eyes are barely open but he watches Chanyeol carefully. There’s only one person who will call at such an ungodly hour.

 

“Sleep,” Chanyeol tells him softly with a gentle stroke of his cheek. “I’ll be back.”

 

Jongdae’s eyes flutter close and then open again. He pins a stare that Chanyeol can’t read but then closes his eyes again before the giant has a chance to ask. The phone is still buzzing, so Chanyeol makes a quick show of affection by pressing a light and chaste kiss to the corner of Jongdae’s mouth.

 

“Goodnight.”

 

He picks up the phone to stop the ringing but doesn’t respond until he is out of the room and has the door closed. Yifan exhales a sigh immediately and Chanyeol braces himself to listen. It will be a long conversation. Things are rocky again but it is always with the same with them so Chanyeol doesn’t worry much. He listens because Yifan needs someone to listen and Chanyeol is considered to be out of the loop so the gossip will not travel far.

 

When the conversation ends, Yifan apologises and Chanyeol dismisses it. In the end though, he decides to stay on the couch. He is tired and he doesn’t want to wake Jongdae who is probably sound asleep now and won’t notice his missing presence. Chanyeol doesn’t really matter anyway and he thinks he never will. They’re friends or friends in name because of their ties but that doesn’t mean anything more.

 

However, as soon as he gets comfortable, there is a shuffling that rouses him from his sleepy state. He jerks his whole body around to see Jongdae clutching onto a pillow and the blanket. Jongdae looks like a sleepy child as he drags the items over and settles down next to Chanyeol. The raven doesn’t say much as he snuggles against Chanyeol’s warmth and presses the pillow against Chanyeol for comfort and then draping the blanket over to keep them warm.

 

As it is, Jongdae doesn’t ask why Chanyeol hadn’t returned as promised. Although the raven doesn’t say it, it is very clear that he doesn’t believe in it, words and promises that is, no matter who it is that is saying it to him. They stay silent for a long while before Chanyeol shifts, moving his arm and allowing Jongdae’s weight to fall into him. It is very warm and he feels content to hear Jongdae’s breathing, heaving slowly. Sometimes, it’s okay that Jongdae falls asleep first.

 

He waits a little bit more before he wraps the blanket securely around Jongdae and then picking him up bridal style to transfer him to the bed. He doesn’t want Jongdae to wake with cricks in his neck. Chanyeol takes a careful side step to his couch and avoids hitting his shin into the coffee table as he steadies Jongdae’s body. The raven is light so Chanyeol doesn’t worry about the weight, but sometimes he has a slip of hand so he holds tight as he moves.

 

Moving swiftly across the living room to the door, Chanyeol lifts his feet off the ground and kicks the door open quietly. He strides across the room and gently lets Jongdae down onto the mattress before he untangles the raven from the mess of the blanket. It is a difficult task with Jongdae’s hand clenched tightly on his shirt but somehow he manages. After he makes the space comfortable, he slips in next to the raven. Chanyeol doesn’t have the heart to go away when Jongdae is holding on so tightly.

 

Slipping under the covers with Jongdae, Chanyeol presses close because it is comfortable. Jongdae seems to curl into him happily, breath evening out pleasantly as sleep takes him into a peaceful place. Chanyeol leans in closer and takes Jongdae’s weight against him, pleased and content but he still feels like he is lacking. There are too many things that he is unable to say when Jongdae is awake.

 

“What are we?” Chanyeol whispers nervously against Jongdae’s forehead.

 

He doesn’t know if he’s ready for an answer.

 

* * *

 

Jongdae wakes up earlier as always but today, his head is throbbing and he finds Chanyeol curled up against him. He doesn’t panic at the sight of Chanyeol, but his heart is thudding loudly in his chest. It’s not the same dream of him choking for air but this one twists at his heart in a different way. Seeing Baekhyun hadn’t been good for his mindset at all. Jongdae exhales deeply, fingers digging into Chanyeol’s hand relentlessly. It isn’t until the sleeping male winces in pain does he notice and pull his grip away.

 

“Shit,” Jongdae curses, the memory coming back.

 

Jongdae groans a little, his head throbbing painfully but he makes sure to get out quietly. He doesn’t want to wake Chanyeol just yet. The taller man’s words from last night still play on his mind. He hadn’t been sleeping all that deeply yet and so he had heard most of it, but had been unable to give an answer. Jongdae is probably just as much of a coward as Chanyeol is.

 

Jongdae is over giving people power of him, giving them the ability to break him, so he is glad that he hadn’t responded. The raven knows what could have come out of his mouth, easily, offering himself to be broken and is just glad that he still had some senses in him. Ruffling his messy hair, Jongdae makes his way around Chanyeol’s home like his own. He rummages through the drawers to find a change of clothes and then hops comfortably into the bathroom to shower. When he gets out, he reaches into the third drawer to grab a spare toothbrush and completes his morning routine comfortably.

 

Once he is done there, he tosses the dirty clothing into Chanyeol’s machine and starts it. As expected, the machine is piled up but nothing is washed yet. Stretching his arms out and moving around, Jongdae makes his way into the kitchen to look for food. He finds cereal in the pantry and some plain milk in the fridge. Jongdae’s brows knit together in deep concentration as he shuffles through the fridge to find the hidden banana milk.

 

He grins as he grabs hold of it and then rips open Chanyeol’s new package of cereal. Dumping a whole bunch of cereal into a bowl, Jongdae unseals the lid of the small bottle and pours it into his cereal. He enjoys the simple breakfast by himself, as he watches the news on low volume so that he doesn’t wake Chanyeol from his slumber. The raven plays around in Chanyeol’s home naturally, having more fun than he does when he is alone.

 

When there is nothing interesting showing on the screen, he turns it off and prances around the house lazily. The raven ends up staring at the guitar sitting in the corner for a very long time before he pushes the boundaries and picks it up. He manages to pull a few chords for fun before Chanyeol steps out of his room drowsily, still rubbing his eyes.

 

“Am I imagining things?” Chanyeol murmurs with a half smile. “Are you planning to serenade me, Jongdae?”

 

Jongdae is stunned for a moment but he breaks into a smile. “I’ve picked up a few things by being around you.”

 

“Oh?” Chanyeol is still sleepy but he is amused enough to take a few steps closer. He takes a seat where Jongdae shuffles to make some space. “Let me hear it,” Chanyeol says fondly.

 

Jongdae makes a face under the strict scrutiny but he is not one to back away from the challenge in Chanyeol’s tone. The raven plays as best as he can but it is simple chords and notes strung together. Jongdae’s preferred instrument is the piano. The only reason that he knows little bits and pieces of the guitar is because of Chanyeol, so he is proud of his achievement, just as Chanyeol is. Neither of them say anything about skill. Chanyeol just gives Jongdae a gummy smile as he reaches his hand over to fix the placement of the raven’s fingers.

 

“Try again,” Chanyeol instructs easily.

 

Jongdae only manages a few notes before a knock on the door distracts the both of them.

 

“Shit,” Chanyeol mumbles getting to his feet.

 

The raven looks up confused and follows Chanyeol halfway. He sets the guitar down and then peeks from behind Chanyeol as he opens the door. The latch opens and the door is pushed open, accompanied by a soft greeting that Jongdae recognises as his younger brother’s. The shock leaves a breath hitched in Jongdae’s throat and he is barely able to articulate his pleasant surprise.

 

“Jong—”

 

“Hyung,” Jongin says almost flatly upon recognition.

 

Chanyeol stands between them a little stunned, “I’m sorry, I completely forgot that you were...”

 

Jongin scrunches his face together in distaste, watching his brother move around the apartment with ease. He is packing his things to go but he looks comfortable in Chanyeol’s clothing. They get along well, in front of Junmyeon, their eldest, but they still have awkward moments because their interests clash. Chanyeol is a little confused to see Jongdae rush out with wishes for them to spend their time well. The raven disappears quickly down the flights of stairs and Jongin stays at the door, watching but not commenting.

 

“What was that?” Chanyeol presses.

 

“We...” Jongin’s brows furrow. “Don’t agree on you.”

 

Chanyeol arches a brow in return. “What about me?”

 

“Then, are you finally dating?” Jongin answers with a question of his own. “I told him to stop using you.”

 

“He’s not!”

 

Chanyeol’s tone is defensive before his expression falls. He doesn’t understand why Jongin thinks like that. The younger male studies the guitarist carefully. The taller of the two pauses tentatively, biting down on his lips and licking the cracks out of nervousness. Chanyeol’s brain is ticking away. He doesn’t hear Jongdae speak much about home and bonds, but he didn’t think that the ties were this bad.

 

“What now?” Jongin presses sternly without room to squeeze through. “What is Jongdae hyung hiding from me?”

 

* * *

 

Jongdae finds his way to a cafe for lunch. It is surprising to see Jongin—he hadn’t heard anything about the younger coming to visit. However, when he sits down and really thinks about it, it is not surprising that Jongin keeps secrets. Out of the three, he and Jongin have the worst bond and that’s his fault. Jongdae probably doesn’t try hard enough to fix things because there are other relations at stake.

 

Jongdae thinks he is unlucky as he pokes at his lunch, but he finds the day even worst when he finds a hung over Baekhyun slipping into the seat next to him without words of request. The raven shuffles a little uncomfortable but instead of saying anything, he just picks up his cup and sips at it, hoping that the throbbing in his head will go away.

 

“Sorry about last night,” Baekhyun finally speaks up. “And uh... thank you.”

 

In all honesty, Baekhyun looks horrible. He has no makeup on today and it’s probably not just the hangover that is contributing to his normal less than perfect appearance. Jongdae doesn’t say anything about it though because they’ve all had their days. He just nods and makes a personally reminder to pass Baekhyun’s words onto Chanyeol. After all, the latter half of the night had been completed with Chanyeol’s help.

 

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Baekhyun squirms.

 

Jongdae feels sorry for him so he just shrugs, “I’m alright. It’s nothing new.”

 

Baekhyun’s lovely features twist in confusion for a moment before he decides to let it go. They should not be digging through old wounds anyway. There is nothing left to do but to let them heal. In the end, he doesn’t push the conversation any further, finishes off his coffee and gets up to leave. He thanks Jongdae once again for the help from last night and disappears around the corner as Jongdae heads in the other direction.

 

“See you,” Jongdae replies politely.

 

He really hopes that he doesn’t have to see Baekhyun again but he doesn’t have the heart to just leave things as they are. Once he is clearly out of Baekhyun’s sight, he reaches for his phone and makes an international call. They owe him that much from the last time that they disturbed his sleep.

 

“Minseok hyung,” Jongdae greets quietly. “I have a favour to ask of you.”

 

* * *

 

After finally pulling all that he needs to know from Chanyeol, Jongin follows the older man’s instructions carefully and finds himself outside of his older brother’s apartment. He stands there for a moment and looks at the door, fiddling with his hands a little bit. He doesn’t know if Jongdae’s gone back home but he ought to try. He hasn’t paid enough attention to know where his older brother likes to go. So, Jongin musters up the courage to press the door bell, thinking that if Jongdae is not home, he can return a little later.

 

He waits a moment before he hears shuffling from within. The door opens and a tall male pokes his head outside. His dark raven hair covers his eyes but the gaze is still piercing. Jongin looks at the address on the paper again and then at the door number before he returns his gaze to the man at the door. He wonders why his brother is living with someone who looks so dangerous but his attention snaps at the sudden Mandarin.

 

“Uh...” Jongin slurs.

 

He’s never been good at it, despite having both Jongdae and Yifan try to teach him during his childhood.

 

“Are you looking for Jongdae hyung?” The male responds in Korean this time. “He’s not home but you can wait inside.”

 

Jongin nods and follows through. When the door finally shuts, his mind snaps and he realises that this kid knows him. How? Does Jongdae talk about him? Jongin kind of wants to run and backtrack but the boy looks at him with piercing eyes and directs him inside. He moves against his will and finds a seat in Jongdae’s empty living room. Jongin huddles in the corner as the tall man prances around the place easily. When he finally comes to sit on the opposite end of the couch, Jongin stiffens.

 

“You should let Jongdae hyung look after you,” he says tentatively. “He’s projecting on me.”

 

Jongin raises a brow and scans Zitao up and down. The taller man doesn’t look like he needs to be looked out for. Jongin parts his lips to speak but then realises that he doesn’t know how to address the other man. He doesn’t know how is older or what their standing should be. Zitao is using formal speech but it is difficult to tell with the way that he slurs a little bit.

 

“I’m Zitao,” Zitao introduces himself but doesn’t offer a handshake. “I don’t know when Jongdae hyung will be home but here’s his spare swipe key.”

 

Jongin takes it with a nod.

 

“He rarely has food in, so if you’re hungry, you’ll have to go out,” Zitao gestures to the key again. “Please tell him that the electricity is back in my place and that I’m going home. Oh and, if anyone comes to the door, don’t let them in. Except for Kyungsoo and myself.”

 

“And Chanyeol?” Jongin finds his voice.

 

Zitao narrows his eyes and then shakes his head, “Not that person.”

 

Jongin throws a quizzical expression at Zitao but he swings the bag over his back and makes another gesture at the door around the corner, “Bathroom and next to it, Jongdae hyung’s bedroom. He’ll let you sleep there so if you’re tired...”

 

“How do you know me...”

 

Zitao’s out the door before he even manages to finish asking the question. Jongin sits in the apartment stunned but strangely feeling safe. Zitao’s killer presence is no longer here to threaten him but there are other things that bother him a little. Jongin can admit that he hasn’t been the best younger brother and Jongdae hasn’t been the best older brother—though he is the one that puts in more effort, but he didn’t think that his (now) reclusive brother would have friends that know of his life anymore than his name, age and occupation.

 

Zitao practically lives in this place given the way that he moves around and the information that he provides. Jongin shudders a little bit but when the quiet finally settles in, he finds the courage to move about the house. It is as empty as it is cold. In the living room there is sparse furniture and a television on a stand without decorations or colours. It is a very dull place to be in.

 

When Jongin ventures into the kitchen to look around, the pantry is empty as Zitao had said. The refrigerator is much the same. There is ice cream in the freezer in all kinds of weird flavours that Jongin doesn’t ever think of having and down in the cooler section there is bottled water and some fermented kimchi to last him on plain rice. It is instantly clear to Jongin that his older brother only uses the apartment to sleep.

 

It is not home, not like Chanyeol’s place is to Jongdae.

 

* * *

 

Jongdae drags himself home warily after seeing Kyungsoo off for the night. His muscles are tense but he tries to loosen it up on the way up to his own apartment. When he stands at the door he finds that the lights are on, so he perks up immediately, puts a smile onto his face and begins to play pretend.

 

“Zitao?” Jongdae starts, kicking off his shoes at the entrance, “Have you eaten?”

 

There is no answer but Jongdae hears shuffling from inside his room so he follows the sound. Zitao isn’t one to pass up on food, even though it is very late into the night. Jongdae pushes through quietly, scanning the room from top to bottom. When he finally reaches the floor, Jongdae’s voice screeches and he uses vocal cords that he hasn’t for a while. Jongin jerks in his spot and looks up from the folders.

 

“What—”

 

“What the hell!”

 

Jongdae wails loudly as he dashes over and gathering everything that is scattered on the ground. The younger male fights his older brother for it, yanking the DVD boxes back and then stuffing magazines on his side of the room. He finds himself smiling at their incoherent banter but Jongdae is trying very, very hard to win that he doesn’t even notice who he is fighting with.

 

“Huang Zitao, I swear to God...”

 

“Hyung!” Jongin yanks, “Jongdae hyung, it’s _me_.”

 

Jongdae jerks his head up and drops his hands, “What...”

 

The shock leaves him frozen long enough for Jongin to gather everything that he needs. Jongdae is so stunned he doesn’t even bother fighting back anymore. Instead, he slumps on the back of his legs and lets an exhausted sigh escapes his lips. Jongin feels bad for going through his brother’s things but upon entering the bedroom and finding family photos around the whole room, he had been intrigued. It is a complete contrast from the rest of the house.

 

“How did you find those?” Jongdae inclines his head to the DVDs and magazines.

 

Jongin is grateful that his older brother doesn’t ask in a mocking tone of why he is here. It hits him once again, dragging an old memory of how sensitive and attentive the elder can be to his surroundings and the people within them. He is also reminded of how bashful Jongdae can be, when it comes to his affections for those that he cares about.

 

“You were the one who taught me how to hide things,” Jongin tells him softly.

 

Technically, the DVDs and magazines that covers Jongin’s dancing career were not hidden. He had stumbled upon them by accident and had been surprised to find that Jongdae had collected everyone piece that Jongin had appeared in, no matter how big or small. He even has some cut out newspaper articles that Jongin deems unimportant. However, he is overwhelmed, pleased and a little too upset at himself to actually tease.

 

“Oh,” Jongdae shifts, “That’s right. I did.”

 

Jongin senses the discomfort and shifts as well. He doesn’t know how to go about it, but he just lets the event takes its course. Once he relaxes, the words come easily, “I’m sorry.”

 

Jongdae stares at him, expression lax as he stares, stunned once again for the day. Jongin finds the expression entertaining, but that can wait a little longer. He waits for Jongdae to come back and then lowers his head appropriately. When Jongdae is ready, he lifts a hand to pat Jongin’s shoulder, feeling scarred on the inside but opting to not talk about it. Chanyeol’s probably said something.

 

“It’s alright,” Jongdae tells him. “I’m glad you’re here today.”

 

Jongin beams at him.

 

* * *

 

They marathon some movies and catch up in between that. It is late but they don’t have plans so it is okay. When the clock strikes three though, Jongdae urges Jongin to bed. He makes his way to the bedroom quickly, leaving Jongin to turn off the system. Jongdae is already jumping on the bed and fixing up the pillows and blankets. When he enters, he watches his brother from behind and decides to try. At three in the morning, Jongdae’s stubbornness may go.

 

“Hyung,” Jongin says, tentatively, carefully. “You and Chanyeol hyung...”

 

Jongdae laughs, a little bitterly at that, “Chanyeol and I aren’t... I told you already.”

 

Jongin blinks slowly for a very long time as he watches Jongdae work. His older brother moves with gentle grace, fixing things up for his comfort without complaint. Jongdae is quiet when he is left alone and Jongin finally sees him. It is easy to see, as Junmyeon had often wanted him to, the Jongdae that has always been there and has never left.

 

“Hyung you should at least—”

 

“Chanyeol,” Jongdae starts sternly, brows knitting, “Goes on a blind date at least three times a month.”

 

His older brother sounds more confused than upset. It takes another moment for him to realise that Chanyeol probably hasn’t said a thing to Jongdae. Jongin sighs and Jongdae turns to him, expression quizzical until he shakes his head to indicate that it is nothing. Jongdae doesn’t look like he buys it but he doesn’t push any further. Jongdae doesn’t push people beyond their limits. He doesn’t like to push buttons where it hurts unless he is defending himself and those that he cares about.

 

“Okay,” Jongdae announces with cheer and inclines his head to the bed, “I’m done. Off to bed now, Jongin.”

 

Jongin doesn’t argue with the older raven. He hops into bed as instructed and allows himself to be tucked in. It’s something that he hasn’t allowed his older brother to do for a very long time so he indulges Jongdae in it. They’ve missed out a lot of bonding because of their choices, so Jongin wants to get as much in as possible.

 

Jongdae disappears and comes back with another thick blanket, covering half of his frame. Jongin smiles underneath his current blanket and closes his eyes again. His older brother is careful in his embrace, placing the new blanket down gentle and spreading it out straight so that there are no lumps to press into Jongin’s skin should he decide to turn in his sleep.

 

“Goodnight,” Jongdae tells him, breath fanning over his forehead along with a soft kiss. “Sweet dreams.”

 

* * *

 

When Jongin is ready, he finally calls Chanyeol out. The older male, comes hesitantly, hands fiddling with one another as he waits in his chair. His mind has gone into overdrive ever since and he hasn’t stopped thinking about what it is that Jongin wants to say to him. He’s messed up big time, he’s known that from the moment he laid eyes on Jongdae, but he’s been getting along fine so he hasn’t worried. However, Jongin is protective of his siblings, even if they are awkward and have misunderstandings.

 

When Jongin enters, Chanyeol’s breath catches in his throat and he sinks into his chair. “Hi.”

 

Jongin nods and takes a seat. He puts his hand up and orders a drink to be polite. He asks Chanyeol as well, but the older just shakes his head. He’s still got his iced coffee to finish. Jongin feels like he can understand Jongdae when he sits like this and sees Chanyeol squirm. Out of the three of them, Jongdae is the one that finds it fun to bully when he has the chance and Jongin finally understands why. However, he doesn’t have long to play. He’s still got plans so he starts speaking after his drink is brought forward.

 

“Relax hyung,” Jongin murmurs over the rim of his cup. “I’m not angry anymore.”

 

Chanyeol relaxes visibly at Jongin’s words and exhales a sigh in relief. He lifts his head with a renewed grin and he asks about Jongdae who he hasn’t seen for a while and is pleased at the good news that Jongin delivers. He nods pleasantly, thoughts swirling around his mind until Jongin asks a question that brings him back to the present.

 

“Have you told my brother how you feel yet?”

 

“I’m trying,” Chanyeol says defensively to hide his discomfort about the topic. It is already bad enough that other people know before Jongdae knows himself—though he supposes that Jongdae should know.

 

“How?” Jongin interrogates with legs and arms crossed.

 

The older scratches his tinted cheeks and smiles sheepishly. Jongin expects him to say something grand but all Chanyeol says is, “We work together on music and have meals together.”

 

Jongin’s face falls, “What else?”

 

Chanyeol supplies easily leaving out intimate details, “I tell him I’ll miss him if he’s going overseas.”

 

Jongin plans his head into the the cold, hard surface area of the table.

 

“We need a new plan,” Jongin murmurs, face still planted in the wooden table. “Or else you’ll never progress.”

 

* * *

 

They spend a lot of time together for the rest of Jongin’s stay. He wants to make up for his lack of understanding and Jongdae wants to make up for his lack of effort. They agree that they are both at fault so that they don’t argue about the topic. Before he leaves, Jongin makes sure to tell Jongdae so that the older man can see him off just like he wants. Jongin also decides that this is his chance to persuade.

 

When they stand in the middle of the airport, luggage forgotten, Jongin bites down on his lips as he mentally recites the dot points of the things that he wants to say. Jongdae’s nervousness is apparent in the way that he rubs his neck, brows furrowing. It is probably just the fact that the raven will miss his younger brother, but Jongin thinks the nerves are unnecessary.

 

“We can always visit,” Jongin assures.

 

The raven nods, “Of course. Come back any time.”

 

He nods in response and looks around himself. The people are passing by busily and the clock is ticking. A few moments of silence passes between them before the screens flash and the announcement comes on. Jongin’s flight is now asking the passengers of the flight to board. The raven looks a little sad, his eyes slightly glossy but he puts a smile on his face as he opens up his arms to give Jongin a soft hug.

 

“Hyung,” Jongin murmurs pulling Jongdae into a tight embrace. “Promise me that the next time you have the chance, you’ll do something for yourself.”

 

Jongdae stiffens, “Huh.”

 

“Promise me,” Jongin squeezes, “That you won’t give way, that you’ll fight hard for the things that you want, the things that you need.”

 

“Jongin...”

 

Jongin shakes his head against Jongdae’s shoulder, “Please hyung.”

 

The raven sighs and pats Jongin’s shoulder. It’s the first thing that Jongin’s asked of him in a while and he supposes that it is not unreasonable. He understands the feeling of being a brother so he gives his consent.

 

“Okay. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol smiles and plays the part of a gentleman like his sister had wanted when she had set him up for this blind date. She had drilled everything in and Chanyeol complies because she is one of the people that he loves most in the world. Chanyeol decides to play his part and then end the meeting on a good note but clearly telling the girl that he has no intentions for a second date. He has everything sorted out and knows that it will go exactly according to plan.

 

That is, until Kim Jongdae steps through the door and finds himself a seat in the corner. He notices Chanyeol but ignores his existence completely and Chanyeol panics because Jongdae doesn’t need to see this image. It is completely misleading and nothing that Chanyeol wants to show the raven. Chanyeol’s mind starts racing for solutions because he’s never had this problem before.

 

The girl—Sohee, Chanyeol thinks—smiles at him and brushes her bangs aside and then picks up the cup to sip at it. She says something as she sets the cup down and Chanyeol only half hears her and answers incoherently in syllables that don’t meet each other. He is flustered and she giggles, like she’s enjoying his little muck up. Chanyeol isn’t.

 

Chanyeol tries to keep his gaze straight but his eyes keep flickering over to the corner that Jongdae is settled in. Jongdae’s coffee order comes and he lifts his head, smiling charmingly at the waitress and Chanyeol thinks that it’s definitely to spite him because he can see a hint of a smirk in there. Chanyeol wants to get up but he’s still got his sister to please. Therefore, he takes it as a personal challenge and straightens out his back.

 

Chanyeol keeps his gaze straight, following Sohee with his eyes carefully. He pays as much attention as he can, ignoring Jongdae’s presence until someone else joins him at the table. He notices the new customer first, when he steps towards the counter because he looks like a peacock—his hair is styled but they’re mixed like a rainbow and it is very eye catching. The man is tall, thin and has sharp features, a nice smile to boot that Jongdae returns with equal intensity.

 

“Hi,” Jongdae beams, “Oh Sehun, correct?”

 

“Yes,” _Oh_ Sehun replies with lovely cheer. “Kim Jongdae?”

 

Chanyeol bites down on his lips to stop the possibility of a sudden outburst and lifts the cup to his lips. Sohee says something else and he nods pleasantly without listening or confirming. The sound of laughter breaks out in the corner of the cafe and Chanyeol squeezes his napkin involuntarily with a scowl on his face.

 

“Are you alright...?”

 

Chanyeol nods dimly with a half smile. “Yes. Uh... um.”

 

She fiddles with the cutlery and Chanyeol can hear his sister screaming at him right at this instant. It is a sign of disinterest that he is definitely grateful for, but it is not the way that he had planned it to go. This kind if disinterest is the one that his sister refuses to accept no matter what his excuses are. Clearing his throat and straightening out his expression, Chanyeol tries again. However, before he can try to strike another conversation, laughter draws his gaze and Chanyeol moves almost automatically.

 

He finds himself hovering over the table that Jongdae is sitting at and for a moment his mind wonders—why is it that Jongdae is surrounded by all the tall ones that look intimidating? First, it is Yifan, then Zitao and now _Oh_ Sehun. It’s hell really. Chanyeol has words on the tip of his tongue but when Sehun and Jongdae both turn to look at him he freezes.

 

“Uh...”

 

“Chanyeol?” Jongdae questions and it is smooth as always, setting him steps backwards from what he has taken. “Are you okay?”

 

The raven sounds so innocent and carefree, Chanyeol almost chokes up again. “Um.”

 

Sehun looks rightly confused and Jongdae has a grin creeping up on his cheeks. However, before he manages to make any snarky remarks, the phone in his pocket rings and draws his attention away. Jongdae puts a hand up and his most professional smile on to excuse himself. He takes a few steps away from the table and picks up the phone, keeping his voice as low as possible.

 

Chanyeol and Sehun size each other up very awkwardly. It is like an internal battle and for a moment, Chanyeol tries very hard to look intimidating but not smiling is something that he finds difficult to do. So his facial expression must be very weird and strange because Sehun laughs mockingly until Jongdae’s volume rises on the phone and draws their attention.

 

“You’re moving?”

 

When they both turn their attention to him, he shakes his head lightly. Keeping the line going, he clamps the phone between his ear and shoulder and pulls out some notes and a pen. Jongdae scribbles on it and then slides it across the table. Chanyeol tilts his head carefully to catch the words on the note. It is an address to the company and Jongdae’s personal phone number.

 

“Call me if you get lost,” Jongdae says quietly while covering the phone. “We can continue this at the company.”

 

The raven excuses himself again politely and continues his conversation quietly. He shuffles his jacket on and leaves the store without disturbing others. Once he is completely gone, Chanyeol’s mind starts ticking again. He still feels a little lost but the company address starts to make sense and he feels very uncomfortable.

 

“You’ve been scouted?”

 

Sehun nods and Chanyeol suddenly feels very stupid.

 

“You just need the address,” Chanyeol announces and rips the post it note in half.

 

He tries for a smile to wash away Sehun’s prominent glare but it fails. Chuckling nervously, Chanyeol looks to his table in hopes of an escape route. The table is empty and Sohee is gone, making him freeze in shock for a moment. With no escape route, Chanyeol is left to face the wrath of Sehun. The rainbow haired kid stands up and his height matches Chanyeol once again—the glare is the thing that is scary though. Chanyeol swallows and puts his hand up, hoping to be spared of violence, but the words still hurt a little.

 

“You are so far gone,” Sehun says with distaste.

 

* * *

 

Chanyeol decides Oh Sehun is a vicious little thing or maybe, Chanyeol is just unlucky. When work at the law firm picks up, he hardly has any time to contact Jongdae to catch up and when he finds some, Jongdae is not free to meet him. Every time that he tries, Jongdae is with Sehun. If the raven is not busy with showing the new kid around, then he is accompanying Kyungsoo around.

 

When Jongdae is in his element, Chanyeol doesn’t have the heart to disturb him. Instead, he watches from afar, in awe at Jongdae’s ability to mould into a mentor to fit Sehun’s needs. It is a complete contrast from the way that he acts around Kyungsoo, because their needs are different. He smiles effortlessly to relieve the nerves of the new boy and he is kind and friendly, easing Sehun into the possible life of an idol.

 

Jongdae passes him three times that day and each time he flashes a warm smile and a small wave. Chanyeol really wants to talk about it but Jongdae is always running off. The first time, he has to prep Kyungsoo for the radio show last minute. The second time, he is shoving lunch down his throat as he scribbles across a score to make up some adjustments for another’s special stage. The third time, Jongdae runs pass him, pushing Sehun forward, but at least he turns back.

 

“Let’s go have dinner later,” Jongdae tells him with an awkward and shy smile.

 

Chanyeol cannot believe his ears but he stays behind and waits with hope anyway. He hopes for the best but thinks of the worst. Perhaps, Jongdae will tell him that they will now stop whatever it is that they have, seeing as he went on that date. He’s been on a few others, none of them serious but he has no intentions of letting the raven know. Chanyeol ends up waiting until pass midnight and feels like a fool but when he gets up to leave, he makes one last effort to check the practice rooms.

 

He pokes his head into one room after another and upon reaching the fifth he finally spots Jongdae against the mirror, head resting on his knees. There is no one else in sight so the raven sleeps peacefully. Sighing with a heavy heart, Chanyeol strides over quietly and kneels down before Jongdae. He brushes raven locks aside and watches as Jongdae inhale and exhale in his sleep. As usual, he doesn’t have the heart to wake the raven up.

 

Chanyeol sits for a while before he decides to move Jongdae gently. Sleeping in such a posture will not be comfortable and home is close by anyway. Chanyeol moves carefully, tucking an arm behind Jongdae and hoisting him up gently. He moves towards the door with ease, curling his feet around it and pushing it open quietly. He doesn’t worry about closing the door because another staff member will get to it. For now, he just concentrates on Jongdae’s soft breathing. That’s more important because no matter how comfortable they become, he still doesn’t like it when Jongdae sleeps in front of him.

 

However, Chanyeol’s discomfort only heightens rather than ease as he tunes into Jongdae’s breathing. The guitarist bumps into Kyungsoo half way down the hall. Kyungsoo gives him an apologetic look but he doesn’t make way. Instead, he turns to his manager with a nod that has Chanyeol puzzled.

 

“He can stay at mine,” Kyungsoo offers, completely ready to take the mentor into his arms. “We need to travel early tomorrow.”

 

“Oh,” he heaves a sigh, disappointed. “Okay.”

 

Kyungsoo gives him a sympathetic smile, “Next week, the schedules will be less hectic. Try again then.”

 

Chanyeol nods because that’s the only choice he’s got.

 

* * *

 

When Jongdae finally has time to meet him and Chanyeol is a bundle of nerves. Before Jongdae arrives, he gets a call from his best friend, which he picks up because he knows that it may be important. They converse briefly, Chanyeol zoning in and out while on the lookout for Jongdae. There is a loud screeching on the other side of the line so Chanyeol pulls his phone away. Right at that moment, there is a pop up message from a very angry Jongin that Chanyeol pushes out of mind as he presses the phone back to his ear. When Jongdae finally gets there, Chanyeol just loses it and he gives up on the conversation on the phone. That’s not as important as this. He fears a little and at the same time, he’s hopeful.

 

Jongdae gives him this smile, bright and fuzzy, squeezing his heart to mush and he can’t help but smile back. His smile is so wide that it hurts a little but he removes the phone from his ears and engulfs Jongdae in the biggest and warmest hug that he can. Chanyeol hopes that his embrace will tell the raven how much he’s been missed. Chanyeol cannot stifle the little laughter that leaves his throat as Jongdae is pressed against him, no fight, no protest. It’s the most exhilarating and gratifying thing yet. So fuck it. Fuck it all—

 

“We don’t have to be anything,” Chanyeol confesses. “I just want you to know that I’m in love with you.”

 

Jongdae stops breathing for a moment, stiffening in Chanyeol’s embrace. It’s been a while since someone has been able to take his breath away but he thinks that this is good too. However, he cannot find his voice to reply. Chanyeol panics at his silence and pulls away, hands firm on Jongdae’s shoulder to give him space, but no chance to run away before he hears that the raven has to say.

 

Chanyeol’s nerves fire rapidly under his skin as he waits but something tells him that Jongdae is purposely drawing out the silence. However, the moment he is about to heave a sigh, Jongdae is on his tiptoes and whispering a reply against the shell of his ear. When the raven pulls away and bursts into that wide grin, Chanyeol finds himself bellowing a laughter so bright and beautiful, he didn’t think it were possible. All those years, he had watched on, watched Jongdae draw the effortless laughter out of another, thinking that he stands no chance, but that is no longer true. He is content with this. Jongdae’s answer is perfect.

 

Chanyeol leans forward, pleased that Jongdae doesn’t pull away. He caresses Jongdae’s cheek gently, smiling into the raven’s cheeks and then feathering light kisses towards the corner of his lips. It’s a different kind of kiss, one chaste but at the same time fulfilling enough. Jongdae provides everything that Chanyeol needs to be here, his laughter; his smile; the sun to his day and now, Chanyeol’s finally caught him.

 

_Fin._


End file.
